ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
