you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
ttyl tear gas
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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