I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
