What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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