And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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