I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
