so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
