They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
