If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize