Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
