You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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