Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
