Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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