i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
