I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
