And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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