I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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