"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
