I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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