STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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