so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize