I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
