Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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