He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize