What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
