That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
