What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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