U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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