No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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