in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize