did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
