I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
