Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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