can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
