sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
