Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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