oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
