Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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