just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
