I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
