If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
