wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
