I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
