i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
