if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
