seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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