I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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