"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
