Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
