I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
