What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
