If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
