quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
