On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
