you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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