And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
