youre lurking in front of me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
