Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
