A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
