two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he fucked my hip out of place.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
