So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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