im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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