Who wears a wallet chain?!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
