did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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