He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
