super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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