Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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