Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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