you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He felt like a one man threesome
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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