trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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