just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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