thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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